Another Thursday and another life changing moment for me. My grandmothers journey has come to an end, wrapped in the arms of her soul mate, her beloved husband of 53 beautiful years. Her 4 amazing and strong children at her bedside, with a smile on her face she left this world. I don't know what I feel right now, it is so complicated. Joy, because her pain is gone, and her soul is born again, free to seek a new life, another journey perhaps. Maybe not, maybe she will wait for my grandma to follow, or maybe they will meet again in another lifetime. Great sadness for my grandfather, he has lost his best friend, his soul mate, his wife, the mother of his children, the love of his life. It was truly devastating for me to see the pain in his eyes, while she was fighting the last days of her life.
The whole experience was tragically beautiful, like a well written poem, that moves you deep within your soul, bringing up emotions that are forgotten on a day to day basis. I spent most of my time with her, sitting quiet at her side, memorizing her hands. My grandmothers hands are truly symbolic to me, they represent her strength and her warmth. With those hands she has nursed many people, raised 4 children, grown thousands of beautiful flowers, baked hundreds of pies, knitted countless items, and when ever I was over, those hands would warm my cold feet. I was afraid to go and see her in her final moments, the only other experience I had was with my moms mom, and she was in a coma in the hospital.
It was an entirely different experience, it taught me so much about the strength of my own father, and his siblings. I watched as they took shifts, and came together putting themselves aside. I watched them fall apart, and pick themselves up and do it all over again. I watched them pour coffee after coffee, each cup going cold, chain smoking, praying, pacing, the occasional laugh, the four of them looking beaten and worn. It brought on the realization that one day that will be me, with only my brother to help. It made me wish for more siblings, but that is never going to happen now ;).
The whole experience was tragically beautiful, like a well written poem, that moves you deep within your soul, bringing up emotions that are forgotten on a day to day basis. I spent most of my time with her, sitting quiet at her side, memorizing her hands. My grandmothers hands are truly symbolic to me, they represent her strength and her warmth. With those hands she has nursed many people, raised 4 children, grown thousands of beautiful flowers, baked hundreds of pies, knitted countless items, and when ever I was over, those hands would warm my cold feet. I was afraid to go and see her in her final moments, the only other experience I had was with my moms mom, and she was in a coma in the hospital.
It was an entirely different experience, it taught me so much about the strength of my own father, and his siblings. I watched as they took shifts, and came together putting themselves aside. I watched them fall apart, and pick themselves up and do it all over again. I watched them pour coffee after coffee, each cup going cold, chain smoking, praying, pacing, the occasional laugh, the four of them looking beaten and worn. It brought on the realization that one day that will be me, with only my brother to help. It made me wish for more siblings, but that is never going to happen now ;).
No comments:
Post a Comment